Year 7. I feel ashamed for ruining the family atmosphere.
Accusals from my father sound like a scary monster.
1995, I cry at the Chinese New Year dinner. Accusals from my father sound like a scary monster. I feel ashamed for ruining the family atmosphere.
But I am just moved to see grandma radiating unconditional love to the whole table. Tears are my expression of gratitude in return for her warm acceptance. The warmest love that I don't feel obligated to please to deserve.
But this superpower of sensitivity isn't seen by everyone. It nurtures subtly in the safe space of feminine love. It never bursts into flames, nor does it wink out. It flickers through years of the expedition in the wild field of emotions.
A suppressed superpower turns out to liberate me as nothing else can parallel.
This is part of the personal stories - The Undercurrent of My 32 Years. Radical acceptance of my identity and unapologetic self-expression sets the foundation for me to question the reality and explore the underneath.